I'm Always Watching The Door

So, this is what I left you to become. You wouldn't be happy about it, or even remotely understand. I like what I learned from you, but I wish you could be here to see me now. I know that isn't even close to a realistic thought. I blocked out all of the good music, memories, and knowledgeI took from you for a while. Mostly because the thought of you put a pit in my stomach, but I can't anymore. Listening to it now makes me think of how I felt then without the missing you, but before tonight it just made me yearn to find a way back into your thoughts or heart. I hate this sour note that I feel like we've been stuck on for a couple months now, but I feel like it might ring this way forever. I'm dealing with it rather well, I think anyways. You should be proud of me, but instead you were jealous and insecure. I'm over it & obviously you were done from the beginning.